


Then and Now

by breadvolution



Category: Free!
Genre: I Love You, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-28
Updated: 2013-11-28
Packaged: 2018-01-02 21:53:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1062056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/breadvolution/pseuds/breadvolution
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Does it even work?" Haru asked himself, shaking the device with a chiding frown. His fingers glided over the smooth surface of the tape recorder, wiping away a layer of dust that had gathered at least a few years. He remembered using this years ago, but he didn't remember what for. More than that, he certainly didn't remember using it recently. Unnamed fingerprints, however, proved otherwise, and he set it down in front of him to pass judgement on it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Then and Now

"Does it even work?" Haru asked himself, shaking the device with a chiding frown. His fingers glided over the smooth surface of the tape recorder, wiping away a layer of dust that had gathered at least a few years. He remembered using this, but he didn't remember what for. More than that, he certainly didn't remember it being used recently. Unnamed fingerprints, however, proved otherwise, and he set it down in front of him to pass judgement on it. Maybe he'd used it more recently than he recalled? After tipping his head back and thinking about it, he let out a grumble. Annoying, seeing as no memory of using it came to mind; Nagisa nor Rei were here often enough to have time to riffle through his things, and his parents weren't home recently enough either. Rin wasn't the sort to touch his stuff, so... Makoto, then?

He opened the player and removed the cassette. _FROM: Mako-chan and Haru-c_ the latter kanji was scribbled away. The tape was addressed to their future selves. He frowned, remembering a little more of it. "Looks like when we were kids…" Makoto had written these words, he knew that handwriting better than his own, and he smiled slightly to see and realize how little it had changed since their younger years. Geez, what dumb thing was on here even? He's bemused, though, in his heart feeling the kindness of Makoto spill into his chest and warm his bosom. He started to remember what it was they were doing when they made this, that Makoto had thought it might be fun to leave a message to themselves years from now, so they'd never forget what good friends they were. Or something like that, Haru was fuzzy on the details. Mostly friendship reasons.

Turning the tape over in his hand, though, he frowned. Only Makoto's name was written here. Was it something Haru had intended... No, it was definitely Makoto's hand writing, large and unrefined . He dismissed that side first, putting in the cassette (the right way, he hoped) to hear the message from their childhood, and pressed on the play button. It stuck at first, and with a forceful jab the tape began to play.

 _Haru-chan!! It's recording,_ a young Makoto cries out. Haru frowns.

 _Don't put -chan on the end like that_ , his younger self retorted, agitation rolling through his voice. Young or old, at least they both knew being called Haru-chan was annoying.

 _Hello, Haruka! Hello Makoto! It's us; or you, hehe,_ Makoto's laugh rang out, high in his youth; Haru noted that he liked the older Makoto's voice much better, and also that 'Haruka' wasn't much of an improvement over -chan. _It's Saturday, and we're at Haru's house for his birthday right now. Haru got a lot of great presents, including this. He said it was okay for us to leave a message to the future as our first recording. Uh, (do you want to tell them what you got, Haru? --Oh, uh, okay then,) well, I got him a dolphin water toy and some towels since he's always in the pool. I hope you still like those, Haru-san!_

The message went on like this, Makoto speaking mostly. The young Haru would interject only for moments, to add to the story or correct Makoto. Young Makoto chattered on, not unlike the man he would grow up to become. He talked about the swim team, and about their friend Rin in Australia. He talked about Nagisa, and about an adventure they all had together the other day; school being a pain, and Haru jousted at Makoto for his troubles with English. Makoto didn't like that much. Oh! And there was the talk about the doppleganger thing they used to do. Haru, the one at present, snorted at that. Now he remembered what Makoto was talking about after they'd seen Rin for the first time in years.

Makoto could really talk, even with all the silence that accompanied him. Haru, the older one, closed his eyes and listened quietly, a smirk on his face. He never understood why Makoto made such a point of being friends with Haru, but to this day, the young man who lived just down the road from him was his best friend regardless of everything. Regardless of his harsh attitude, that may have even battered against his own good nature more and more over the years. Regardless of every reason Makoto had to befriend another, less solemn young man. Makoto was his constant friend, and for as much he was happy.

 _Haru, you should say something,_ Makoto pleaded. There was a silence.

_…I hope I still like the dolphin toy, too._

The recording stopped at the sound of a small, cheery gasp from the young Makoto. The younger Haru must have turned it off before they could record Makoto embarrassing them both. The older Haru probably would have done the same.

Haru popped open the tape, and thought to himself he probably should have invited Makoto over to hear the tape with him. He thought, maybe he'll bring it by later and have Makoto listen to it. He would no doubt laugh that jubilant and heartfelt laugh he had. Haru was glad to be alone to embarrass himself for day dreaming of Makoto's good nature, however. Coolly, he flipped the cassette over again, and re-examined the second side. It was Makoto's hand writing, unchanged from his youth, large and scrawled out in a messy fashion. Haru guessed it was from him, though he didn't remember Makoto ever getting a hold of it. Or, at least he didn't think he did?

He pushes the tape into the player, and repeats the same motion. The player snaps shut, and wouldn't play until Haru was forced to, again, jab the button down with a sticky, clunky click.

_..Hey, Haru. It's me, uhm.. Makoto._

*

"Hmmmuh?" Makoto moaned into his phone.

"Makoto, open the door."

"Haru, do you know how late it is?"

There's no response. Makoto sighs, exhausted. "Give me a minute." He hung up, and almost fell back asleep, but his eyes jolted open when he realizes Haru had called from his cell phone. His _cell phone_. Half sliding, half falling out of his bed, Makoto scampered to the front door and threw it open. Sure enough, Haru stood there. "Haru, are you alright?"

"Yeah," but Makoto didn’t know if he believed it. "I need to show you something."

"Oh, yeah, sure, come on in," he stepped out of the way, and followed Haru along until they were in the kitchen. At Haru's command, Makoto closed the door to the kitchen behind him and joined his friend. A cassette player sat on the table between them, and Haru kept the buttons facing himself. Makoto was too tired to recognize it; too tired to retort; too tired to question why it was there. His bleary eyes barely kept focus on anything, and he rubbed his face. "Haru, what is this? You woke me up for this?"

"Just sit down. You talk too much." Ouch; but he was right, Makoto did talk a lot. But the tone in his voice wasn't an insult; Haru seemed to convey that Makoto had a lot to say? Makoto doesn't turn aside the command to sit and opens his mouth to question what Haru meant. Why does he have a lot of talking to do?

The sound of a crack as the button jammed down for a final time, and a voice that was Makoto's some time ago rings out. Makoto, the one at present, retracts his argument.

_..Hey, Haru. It's me, uhm Makoto. Sorry, I was rummaging around your room a little while you were out, I hope you don't mind. I saw the cassette player your mother got you years ago. It's too bad you didn't say more in that recording, huh? It's was kind of funny to hear you as a kid. The player is pretty dirty, I'm guessing you haven't listened to it since we made it. Told you about the dopplerganger game, though, didn’t I? Haha…_

_…Regionals are soon, you know? Well, it is for me, I don't know about you whenever you're hearing this now. I'm still pretty nervous; especially about going first. It's sort of like my performance is the opening for the rest of us, and if I do bad, it'll look bad on the rest of you. Hah, I'd hate to do something like that to you guys, especially with how hard we've worked to get this far. I don't want to let you all down._

Haru watched Makoto as the recording played, and both of them knew this message by now. Makoto seemed to become more and more alert as he listened to the tape play on, until his back was stiff and a frightened look takes over his face. Haru didn't know what to make of it, but continued to watch Makoto as he watched the tape in turn.

_Least of all you, Haru. …I guess, I mean to say I know winning doesn't matter to you, but I think it would be nice, to go back to when we were kids again and win that relay like we did then. And seeing as we've swam together longest, I guess I've more reason to want to do well for you. And, hah, a few other reasons._

The voice from the recording weakened nervously. _Like how much you've changed. Ever since the swim team started, you've changed in ways I didn't actually expect. It's like the Haru I knew took a complete 180 while my back was turned. I don't even know if I've seen you smile as much these last few weeks, than I ever have since the day I met you and it's… It's nice. It's always nice to see that you're happy. Sometimes, I feel like the relay is the reason you're smiling so much lately, so I guess it feels pretty important to win._

"Haru, could we--" Makoto's hand reached out, but Haru's shot out faster, snatching Makoto's hand in his and squeezing his knuckles tightly over the counter. As dark as the room were, he could see Makoto flushed down to his neck. His grasp on Makoto's half clenched hand was tight, urging Makoto to listen. Haru's eyes shined in the pale light, and he didn't let his friend out of his gaze.

_\-- me happy, too. I want to win this, and I want to see you smile in the photo they take of us when we win, and I want to make another recording just like the last one for us when we're in our thirties to hear about how great you were in the water, how Nagisa had made all this happen, and how our Rei sunk like a sub but he was still the most important part of our team._

The voice on the machine laughs, anxious, and slowly, as he continued, it grew faint and hesitant. _And when I'm older, still I want to know you so we can listen to that message together. Haruka... You are so important to me, and I want to be there for every smile. You were always there for me when I was afraid, and when I needed help, and you even made me love the water again. You changed me in a lot of ways, and I guess the best parts of myself I have to thank you for. Not really something you want to throw away, right? And I… I still want to return all those favours to you, but it's hard to simply… give you those things in return. I always want to give you more so you understand how much everything you've done for me means, and how much you mean, and… Haha, I'm beating around the bush…_

_…Haru, I love you. I guess I've loved you for a very long time now, but I've just… been waiting. Hoping maybe someday it would feel right to tell you the truth. Maybe I'll tell you if we win the meet. Anyway, good luck to the both of us, I guess. …Yeah…_

The voice stopped, and Makoto blushed, not sure where he wanted to look. His mouth opened and he looked to Haru, but another tight grip on his hand (Haru had never let go of it) makes his jaw stutter and he his words turned to a sharp breath. Haru stared at him, earnest eyes glowing in the pale moonlit room, a hiss slipping over his teeth as he begged Makoto to be quiet a moment longer. The message continued to play, and for a solid minute nothing happens. Makoto is sure he can see redness in Haru's cheeks blossoming like late spring.

_... I... I love you, too._

Haru stopped the recording, and for a time Makoto doesn't seem to move, processing finally that the final voice on the recording belonged to Haru. He gasped, jubilant and enthralled, whispering out Haru's name like a giddy child; but the sound of his breath was so much more than the small gasp his younger self had given. Makoto stood, whirled around the table, and without a second guess, kissed the man he loved, and Haru did just the same.


End file.
